Shining Light in the Shadows: The Power of Resilience

​Welcome to an area of life that people often don’t think about when they think about their worthiness: resilience.

That inner strength that helps us navigate life's challenges and emerge stronger.

For me, one of the toughest battles I went through, and the one that I don’t often talk about, was learning how to cultivate healthier dynamics in my marriage.

Honestly, I could easily have just blamed my past – a rocky childhood, issues with my mom, and the scars of past trauma. Or I could have pointed the finger at my partner and his childhood and past. And yeah, those things definitely influenced things.

But I realized that staying stuck in that blame game wasn't going to get me anywhere.

Resilience, I learned, is about facing those tough spots head-on, and taking radical responsibility for all aspects of my journey - even when it's scary and downright uncomfortable AF.

Instead of avoiding vulnerability, I learned to lean into it. It wasn't easy and to be honest I am still working on this.

Facing my fears of rejection and inadequacy, facing my unhealthy definitions of love, feels awful and confusing and disorienting a lot of the time. But I know that true connection and deeper healing cannot happen without walking this path.

And you know what? Embracing vulnerability opened up a whole new level of intimacy and healing in my all of my relationships, not just in my marriage.

Is it easy? Some days.

Is it harder? Most days.

Is it worth it? Hells yeah.

Change is terrifying, no doubt about it. Taking responsibility for my emotions and my life was something I was not taught and so felt very ill equipped for. But I realized that staying stagnant was even scarier.

So, I mustered up the courage to embrace change, to venture into the abyss of the unknown (with my amazing Coach Vanessa by my side!) knowing that growth was waiting on the other side of the fear.

It’s a true fool’s journey and one that we eventually all must embark on.
Today, I'm still on that journey of resilience. It's not always smooth sailing, but I've learned that showing up – even when it's hard and messy and feels fucking gross – is key.

And guess what? The more I shine my light, even in the darkest corners, the brighter everything becomes.

People think that being a coach and doing what I do makes me immune to life’s life-yness and that’s just not true.

I am messy and emotional and prone to making a mess of things just like anyone else. The only difference is I have learned to lean into the messiness even when I hate it and want to run away.

I have learned to reach out for support sooner and that there are no prizes for most willingly to suffer in silence.

So, to anyone out there facing their own challenges, remember this: resilience isn't about being fearless. And it certainly isn’t about feeling comfortable.

It's about finding the courage to show up, even in the face of fear.
Decide you want it more than you’re afraid of it.

Because when we embrace vulnerability and embrace change, that's when the real magic happens ✨

​Til next time!