​Let’s talk about Love: The Trifecta of Feeling, Choice, and Skillset

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Just because this has come up for a few people this month….

Love is often described as a whirlwind of emotions, an irresistible force that sweeps us off our feet. But as the initial rush of euphoria subsides, what remains is a deeper understanding of love—one that encompasses not only feelings but also choices and skills.

So let me ask you: how good are you at love?

Just because this has come up for a few people this month….

Love is often described as a whirlwind of emotions, an irresistible force that sweeps us off our feet. But as the initial rush of euphoria subsides, what remains is a deeper understanding of love—one that encompasses not only feelings but also choices and skills.

So let me ask you: how good are you at love?

In the beginning, love is undeniably a feeling. We're intoxicated by a potent cocktail of dopamine and oxytocin, the chemicals of love and bonding. Every glance, touch, and shared moment sends us soaring on cloud nine. It's a time of euphoria and bliss, where everything seems perfect and effortless.

However, as time goes on, the intensity of these feelings inevitably wanes. This is where love transforms into a choice—a conscious decision to choose each other, day in and day out, even when the initial spark fades. It's about committing to the relationship, even when challenges arise and the temptation to walk away looms large.

But love doesn't stop there. As time goes on it evolves into something even stronger: a skillset, a set of abilities and practices that are essential for maintaining a healthy and thriving relationship.
We all crave love, but how skilled are we at giving and receiving it?

Do we know how to make repair efforts after a fight, to bridge the gap and mend the wounds?
Can we identify our partner's bids for connection and respond to them with warmth and affection?
And perhaps most importantly, can we be respectful and empathetic partners, even in the face of hurt or anger?

These are the questions that define our proficiency in the art of love.
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It's not just about feeling love; it's about actively cultivating and nurturing it through conscious choices and intentional actions. And it's about continuously honing our skills as partners, learning and growing together every step of the way.

After all, love is not just something we experience—it's something we actively practice and cultivate, day in and day out. And in the end, it's our dedication to that practice that truly makes all the difference.

Love, in its truest form, is indeed a beautiful journey—one that is worth every moment of effort and devotion.

Your partner will be your mirror, reflecting back at you all the wounds you thought you had healed. And just when you think you have nothing left to learn, your partner will show you new ways you can evolve and grow.

Love is not a path for the faint-hearted or complacent. It takes a true warrior to soften into the embrace that a relationship offers.

Walk boldly warriors. It is a worthy journey.

​Until next time,