How To Set Boundaries
(Without Feeling Like a D*ck)
Stop Being 'Nice' and Start Setting Boundaries That Feel Good
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⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"This book has really helped me clarify what’s important in my life, improve communication with my spouse to strengthen our connection, and establish healthier day-to-day boundaries to avoid feeling overwhelmed."
Say Goodbye to ‘Nice’ and Hello to Authentic LivingWhat if your emotions weren’t something to manage or suppress but powerful tools to help you grow, learn, and thrive? What if setting boundaries didn’t feel heavy or uncomfortable but instead became the foundation for stronger relationships and a more fulfilling life? Speaking up and setting boundaries is about so much more than just saying "no" or creating limits. It’s about creating a life that feels deeply authentic and aligned with who you truly are. It’s about letting go of being “Nice” as a way to keep the peace and, instead, stepping into a version of yourself that inspires both you and those around you. This is your opportunity to build a life that truly works for you. Welcome to the start of your journey. |
How To Set Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a D*ck)
Is Now Available on Amazon!
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Setting Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a D*ck)
Let’s be real: we all know boundaries are important, but actually setting them? That’s where it gets messy. Do you ever feel like you’re stuck between two impossible choices—speaking up and feeling like a total jerk, or staying quiet and slowly losing yourself? I’ve been there, and I want you to know there’s another way. I wrote this book because I know how hard it can be to set boundaries, and I’ve learned (the hard way) that it doesn’t have to feel like an all-or-nothing battle. |
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This isn’t just another book about why boundaries matter—it’s a hands-on guide to help you set boundaries that actually stick and feel good.
I’ll share with you the tools, phrases, and exercises that have worked for me and the people I’ve worked with over the years.
You’ll learn how to:
This book is practical, honest, and (hopefully) a little fun. My goal is to help you bridge the gap between your head and your heart so you can stop people-pleasing, find your voice, and set boundaries that work for you—without feeling like a d*ck.
If you’re ready to take back your energy, transform your relationships, and finally show up for yourself, this book is for you. Let’s do this together.
I’ll share with you the tools, phrases, and exercises that have worked for me and the people I’ve worked with over the years.
You’ll learn how to:
- Say what you need without guilt or drama.
- Build stronger, healthier relationships.
- Reconnect with yourself and create a life that feels aligned and true to you.
This book is practical, honest, and (hopefully) a little fun. My goal is to help you bridge the gap between your head and your heart so you can stop people-pleasing, find your voice, and set boundaries that work for you—without feeling like a d*ck.
If you’re ready to take back your energy, transform your relationships, and finally show up for yourself, this book is for you. Let’s do this together.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"This workbook/self-help book is written in clear, easy-to-understand language. It’s a practical and valuable tool for anyone looking to improve their emotional health—a worthwhile purchase!"
Order your copy now and claim your free gifts!
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01/ Downloadable Meditation
A guided meditation designed to help you better create and strengthen your energetic boundaries. 02/PDF Workbook
This companion guide is here to make working through the exercises easier and to help you navigate your boundaries journey with clarity and ease. Now Available!
Makes a great gift or stocking stuffer |
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Follow the simple steps below to unlock your gifts:
Step 1: Grab Your Copy
Grab your copy in paperback, ebook, or hardcover. Available at Amazon.com or Amazon.ca |
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Register to get your workbook + guided meditation delivered to your inbox in 24 hours! |
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"Letting go of being ‘Nice’ is one of the best gifts you can give yourself, and learning to show up compassionately is the starting point of an incredible healing journey."
*** Take a Sneak Peek Inside ***
Preface: Welcome, Fellow Nice Person!
Welcome! And congratulations. If you are reading these words, you are (or at least think you might be) part of an elite and growing group of individuals considered ‘Nice.’ You likely have a few close friends, possibly even a supporting circle of acquaintances, family members, and co-workers, who describe you as their “go-to” person. You may even have a reputation for being the kind of person who loves to help out.
Who can always be relied on to lend a helping hand.
Who is never more than a phone call away.
And who will Never. Ever. Say. No.
For so long, I was this person. I would do anything for anyone. And the truth is, I really do enjoy helping others. It gives me so much joy to watch someone’s face light up, knowing that I was a part of it and that I made someone’s day a little brighter and more manageable. I am a natural helper, and it honestly never occurred to me that I could say no!
But here’s the problem: In all my eagerness to say ‘Yes’ to everyone else, I forgot about saying ‘Yes’ to me.
Oops.
And that’s where it all went wrong.
In the beginning, it was subtle, you know? I was a little less interested in the things I used to love, a little less vibrant. A little quieter. But I was still doing what I needed to do, and I “put on a brave face” and soldiered on.
Because that’s what we do, isn’t it?
But over time, the changes became more profound. I found myself avoiding the activities I used to enjoy, and those once-beloved hobbies began to feel like burdens. It was as if I had become a stranger in my own life, performing a role that wasn't written for me.
Eventually, the physical problems started: chronic sinus infections and colds, minor aches and pains, and just a general feeling of blah.
And the fear. Oh, the fear.
It seemed overnight I became scared, anxious, and afraid of, well, everything! Things I had handled so easily in the past began to overwhelm me, and I just wanted to crawl into a warm, dark hole and hide.
Forever.
Being ‘Nice’ looks so wonderful from the outside, it’s no wonder it’s the thing we all strive for! But it turns out we were all sold a bill of goods because living like this—always “on,” always smiling, never rocking the boat, being ‘Nice’—is slowly killing us. The good news is change is possible and I am proof that healing your life from the inside-out can happen and is way easier than you may think.
So, who am I? I am someone who has walked the path of brokenness and lived to tell the story. I am someone who has experienced a dark night of the soul and lived there for over a decade. I am someone who has been told, over and over again, that I am broken.
And yet here I am. Stronger than before.
So, from one ‘Nice’ person to another: Welcome, and thank you for being here.
Over the following chapters, I am going to introduce you back to You and to the parts of yourself that maybe haven’t been acknowledged in a very long time. And by the time we are done, you will have the knowledge, skills, and tools you need to begin a more profound process of personal healing and transformation guided by the supportive and wise presence of boundaries.
Welcome to your journey.
How to use this book:
This book is designed to walk you step-by-step through the process of creating healthier boundaries in your life and is best read in order, as each chapter builds on the last. As you progress, you might be tempted to skip over some of the chapter exercises. Pay attention, because the ones that make you the most uncomfortable are the ones you likely need the most. To get the most out of this experience, I recommend fully participating and giving yourself the gift of diving in wholeheartedly.
Here’s what we are going to cover:
How to access and use your emotions as powerful tools for feedback and growth.
How to master the art of setting clear, effective boundaries with yourself and others using the Boundaries Blueprint.
How to neutralize your triggers and turn the biggest jerks in your life into your best boundary-setting allies.
How to use compassionate negotiation to navigate tricky or difficult conversations with empathy and understanding.
How to offer effective feedback in a way that strengthens relationships using the Feedback Formula.
How to be more receptive and cultivate authentic gratitude in your life.
How to stop being ‘Nice’ and start creating a life that inspires both you and those around you.
Signs You Need Better Boundaries
Still on the fence about whether or not you actually need better boundaries in your life? Here are some signs that the boundaries you have are no longer working for you:
Final Thoughts
Letting go of being ‘Nice’ is one of the best gifts you can give yourself, and learning to show up compassionately is the starting point of an incredible healing journey.
You in? Good!
Let’s do this.
Who can always be relied on to lend a helping hand.
Who is never more than a phone call away.
And who will Never. Ever. Say. No.
For so long, I was this person. I would do anything for anyone. And the truth is, I really do enjoy helping others. It gives me so much joy to watch someone’s face light up, knowing that I was a part of it and that I made someone’s day a little brighter and more manageable. I am a natural helper, and it honestly never occurred to me that I could say no!
But here’s the problem: In all my eagerness to say ‘Yes’ to everyone else, I forgot about saying ‘Yes’ to me.
Oops.
And that’s where it all went wrong.
In the beginning, it was subtle, you know? I was a little less interested in the things I used to love, a little less vibrant. A little quieter. But I was still doing what I needed to do, and I “put on a brave face” and soldiered on.
Because that’s what we do, isn’t it?
But over time, the changes became more profound. I found myself avoiding the activities I used to enjoy, and those once-beloved hobbies began to feel like burdens. It was as if I had become a stranger in my own life, performing a role that wasn't written for me.
Eventually, the physical problems started: chronic sinus infections and colds, minor aches and pains, and just a general feeling of blah.
And the fear. Oh, the fear.
It seemed overnight I became scared, anxious, and afraid of, well, everything! Things I had handled so easily in the past began to overwhelm me, and I just wanted to crawl into a warm, dark hole and hide.
Forever.
Being ‘Nice’ looks so wonderful from the outside, it’s no wonder it’s the thing we all strive for! But it turns out we were all sold a bill of goods because living like this—always “on,” always smiling, never rocking the boat, being ‘Nice’—is slowly killing us. The good news is change is possible and I am proof that healing your life from the inside-out can happen and is way easier than you may think.
So, who am I? I am someone who has walked the path of brokenness and lived to tell the story. I am someone who has experienced a dark night of the soul and lived there for over a decade. I am someone who has been told, over and over again, that I am broken.
And yet here I am. Stronger than before.
So, from one ‘Nice’ person to another: Welcome, and thank you for being here.
Over the following chapters, I am going to introduce you back to You and to the parts of yourself that maybe haven’t been acknowledged in a very long time. And by the time we are done, you will have the knowledge, skills, and tools you need to begin a more profound process of personal healing and transformation guided by the supportive and wise presence of boundaries.
Welcome to your journey.
How to use this book:
This book is designed to walk you step-by-step through the process of creating healthier boundaries in your life and is best read in order, as each chapter builds on the last. As you progress, you might be tempted to skip over some of the chapter exercises. Pay attention, because the ones that make you the most uncomfortable are the ones you likely need the most. To get the most out of this experience, I recommend fully participating and giving yourself the gift of diving in wholeheartedly.
Here’s what we are going to cover:
How to access and use your emotions as powerful tools for feedback and growth.
How to master the art of setting clear, effective boundaries with yourself and others using the Boundaries Blueprint.
How to neutralize your triggers and turn the biggest jerks in your life into your best boundary-setting allies.
How to use compassionate negotiation to navigate tricky or difficult conversations with empathy and understanding.
How to offer effective feedback in a way that strengthens relationships using the Feedback Formula.
How to be more receptive and cultivate authentic gratitude in your life.
How to stop being ‘Nice’ and start creating a life that inspires both you and those around you.
Signs You Need Better Boundaries
Still on the fence about whether or not you actually need better boundaries in your life? Here are some signs that the boundaries you have are no longer working for you:
- You often say "Yes" to others, even when everything inside you is urging you to say "No."
- You bend over backward to keep others happy, even at the expense of your own well-being.
- When someone hurts or frustrates you, you keep quiet, bottling up your feelings and storing away unspoken thoughts.
- You prioritize everyone else’s needs over your own and often feel burned out, overwhelmed and exhausted.
- You constantly agree to others’ demands while your own energy and time are stretched thin.
- You feel like you have to walk on eggshells and hold back your true thoughts and opinions to avoid conflict.
- You often feel overlooked, unappreciated, or like you don’t quite belong in social settings.
- You hesitate to ask for help, fearing you might be a burden to others.
- You struggle to say "No," even when you are feeling overwhelmed, because you don’t want to disappoint anyone.
- You feel guilty for taking time for yourself, as if you should always be available for others.
- You believe you need to earn love and approval by constantly giving, doing, or being "perfect."
- You often put your own dreams and desires on hold to support others in achieving theirs.
- You find yourself constantly apologizing, even when it’s not your fault, just to keep the peace.
- You feel responsible for other people’s happiness, often at the cost of your own.
- You notice that you often end up doing more than your fair share, whether at work or in personal relationships, because it feels easier than saying "No."
Final Thoughts
Letting go of being ‘Nice’ is one of the best gifts you can give yourself, and learning to show up compassionately is the starting point of an incredible healing journey.
You in? Good!
Let’s do this.
Quiz: Just How Nice Are You
It’s time to find out just how ‘Nice’ you really are. Are you at a healthy level of ‘Nice’, or are you on the brink of a full-scale, nuclear ‘Nice’ meltdown of epic proportions?
Complete the quiz below to find out!
Step One: For each of the questions below, answer with either Yes or No
Step Two: Add up the total number of Yeses
0-5: You are definitely Nice, but it is probably still manageable. You likely feel a wide range of emotions and are decent at speaking up and getting your needs met. For you, this book will introduce you to tools to help prevent you from wandering down that dark road of severe Niceness. And you may just gain some new perspectives on yourself or someone else in your life.
6-10: You are teetering between being a healthy level of Nice and wandering into the world of Too Nice. This is a caution zone where you need to be alert to any indications of getting too comfortable putting yourself last. For you, this book will help keep you from falling over the edge and give you ways to identify if, and when, it is time to bring in extra reinforcements.
11-15: You are really Nice and likely pride yourself on being this way. You likely feel it is your duty to sacrifice for the people you love and possibly struggle with knowing where to begin when setting healthy boundaries without feeling overwhelming guilt. For you, this book will serve as an essential step on your journey to healing your relationship with YOU and will open up new perspectives on how to offer kindness without sacrificing your needs.
16-21: Warning! Warning! We have a toxically Nice person! Chances are you are either walking around secretly, seething mad all the time, or you have so skillfully removed anger from your world that you may barely feel anger at all. If you can’t remember the last time you got good and pissed off—welcome. I am so glad you are here because this book is your wake-up call and your path back to a life filled with all the richness and joys of connection.
It’s time to find out just how ‘Nice’ you really are. Are you at a healthy level of ‘Nice’, or are you on the brink of a full-scale, nuclear ‘Nice’ meltdown of epic proportions?
Complete the quiz below to find out!
Step One: For each of the questions below, answer with either Yes or No
- Do you consider yourself 'Nice'?
- Are you great at putting everyone else’s needs first but forget about yourself in the mix?
- Have you ever wondered, “If I’m taking care of everyone else—who is taking care of me?”
- Are you always willing to lend a helping hand to others while your projects are left untouched?
- Do people describe you as a “go-to” person or the one with all the answers?
- Do you feel like you are being taken advantage of or are too understanding for your own good?
- Do you like feeling needed?
- Do you find yourself constantly apologizing and justifying yourself?
- Do you find yourself agreeing with or saying yes when you don’t want to and then feeling resentful afterward?
- Are you great at avoiding confrontation—at all costs?
- Do you consider yourself ‘easygoing’ and often think it’s not worth speaking up and ‘rocking the boat’?
- Do you struggle with feelings of depression, anxiety, or overwhelm regularly?
- Do you often volunteer to help with tasks or responsibilities, even when overwhelmed?
- Do you have difficulty saying 'no' to requests, even when you lack time or energy?
- Do you prioritize others' happiness and comfort over your own?
- Do you feel guilty when taking time for yourself or prioritizing your needs?
- Do you frequently ignore or suppress your emotions to avoid conflict or discomfort?
- Do you often feel drained or exhausted after social interactions or helping others?
- Do you struggle to stand up for yourself and communicate your needs?
- Do you feel responsible for solving other people's problems or fixing their issues?
- Do you have difficulty asking for help or support when you need it?
Step Two: Add up the total number of Yeses
0-5: You are definitely Nice, but it is probably still manageable. You likely feel a wide range of emotions and are decent at speaking up and getting your needs met. For you, this book will introduce you to tools to help prevent you from wandering down that dark road of severe Niceness. And you may just gain some new perspectives on yourself or someone else in your life.
6-10: You are teetering between being a healthy level of Nice and wandering into the world of Too Nice. This is a caution zone where you need to be alert to any indications of getting too comfortable putting yourself last. For you, this book will help keep you from falling over the edge and give you ways to identify if, and when, it is time to bring in extra reinforcements.
11-15: You are really Nice and likely pride yourself on being this way. You likely feel it is your duty to sacrifice for the people you love and possibly struggle with knowing where to begin when setting healthy boundaries without feeling overwhelming guilt. For you, this book will serve as an essential step on your journey to healing your relationship with YOU and will open up new perspectives on how to offer kindness without sacrificing your needs.
16-21: Warning! Warning! We have a toxically Nice person! Chances are you are either walking around secretly, seething mad all the time, or you have so skillfully removed anger from your world that you may barely feel anger at all. If you can’t remember the last time you got good and pissed off—welcome. I am so glad you are here because this book is your wake-up call and your path back to a life filled with all the richness and joys of connection.