Jump To Section
Looking for specific press kit items? Use the links below to quickly navigate to the content you need, including bios, photos, press release, and book preview. I've made it easy to find exactly what you're looking for!
|
I want to change the way you think about boundariesAs an Emotional Resilience Coach, I help people break free from the past so they can fully step into who they are today. In my work, I have had the privilege of helping hundreds of clients release the emotional baggage that holds them back, and time and again, one key issue keeps coming up: boundaries. Boundaries are the one thing we all know we need—yet somehow, they’re also the thing we struggle with the most. We’ve been taught that boundaries are about saying no and keeping people at a distance; a last resort to stop someone from crossing the line. But boundaries are so much more than that. When used effectively, boundaries don’t just protect your space—they shape your relationships, define your self-worth, and give you the freedom to show up fully as yourself. And that? That changes everything. |
How To Set Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a D*ck) isn’t just a book; it’s an invitation to reclaim your power, redefine what it means to be ‘Nice,’ and start living a life that truly reflects Who You Are.
If you’re ready to step into your authentic self and learn to set boundaries without feeling like a total d*ck, this book is your roadmap to a life that feels freer, fuller, and unapologetically yours.
My Bio
“You are not broken.” This phrase has become Jennifer’s personal and professional mantra, one she’s passionate about sharing with as many people as possible.
After being diagnosed with over seven different mental health conditions by the age of 19, Jennifer embarked on a transformative and unique journey of healing and self-discovery. Her experiences shaped an unwavering belief that no one is broken and that everyone has the power to find the healing they deserve. Today, as an Author, Master Hypnotherapist, and Emotional Resiliency Coach, Jennifer has helped hundreds of clients regain control of their lives by breaking free from emotional baggage. |
|
Through her private practice, retreats, trainings, and podcast, The BTG Podcast, she empowers individuals to build emotional resilience, strengthen their relationships, and step into their most authentic selves.
Blending professional expertise with the hard-earned wisdom of her own personal healing journey, Jennifer offers support that is authentic, compassionate, and deeply impactful. Her unique approach integrates practical tools and innovative techniques to help clients create meaningful, lasting change.
In her new book, How to Set Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a D*ck), Jennifer offers a compassionate yet practical approach to boundaries. Packed with relatable examples, hands-on exercises, and actionable tips, this book is an essential guide for anyone looking to build healthier, more authentic connections—whether at work, with family, or in personal relationships
Jennifer currently lives in Ontario, Canada, with her husband, Brian, her mother-in-law, Lee, and their fabulous fur family: Lexi, Stella, Colby, and Brie. In her free time, she loves curling (a true Canadian, of course), hula hoop dancing (yes, really!), and singing barbershop harmony with her chorus and quartet.
Jennifer works with clients locally and internationally, offering one-on-one sessions and group trainings through virtual platforms, making support accessible to anyone, anywhere.
Blending professional expertise with the hard-earned wisdom of her own personal healing journey, Jennifer offers support that is authentic, compassionate, and deeply impactful. Her unique approach integrates practical tools and innovative techniques to help clients create meaningful, lasting change.
In her new book, How to Set Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a D*ck), Jennifer offers a compassionate yet practical approach to boundaries. Packed with relatable examples, hands-on exercises, and actionable tips, this book is an essential guide for anyone looking to build healthier, more authentic connections—whether at work, with family, or in personal relationships
Jennifer currently lives in Ontario, Canada, with her husband, Brian, her mother-in-law, Lee, and their fabulous fur family: Lexi, Stella, Colby, and Brie. In her free time, she loves curling (a true Canadian, of course), hula hoop dancing (yes, really!), and singing barbershop harmony with her chorus and quartet.
Jennifer works with clients locally and internationally, offering one-on-one sessions and group trainings through virtual platforms, making support accessible to anyone, anywhere.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"This book not only teaches you how to articulate boundaries with grace but also, improve your relationship with others and yourself. I love the messaging on creating a better inner dialogue. It helps you take back your life and shine your light!"
Book Details and Description
Do you ever feel stuck in a cycle of saying yes when you really want to say no? Like you’re constantly bending over backwards to keep everyone else happy, only to end up exhausted, frustrated, and losing yourself in the process?
It doesn’t have to be this way.
In How To Set Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a D*ck), Emotional Resilience Coach, Jennifer Febel, offers a refreshingly practical and compassionate guide to creating boundaries that actually work—and feel good. This isn’t just a book about why boundaries matter. It’s a hands-on roadmap to help you:
Each chapter builds on the last, walking you step by step through the process of building healthier boundaries in every area of your life. Along the way, you’ll gain the tools and exercises you need to heal relationships, reclaim your time, and reconnect with what truly matters to you.
Here's What You’ll Learn
Packed with actionable tools, relatable wisdom, and real-life examples, How To Set Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a D*ck) isn’t just a book—it’s your ultimate guide to living unapologetically, authentically, and in alignment with what matters most to you.
If you're ready to find your voice, transform your relationships, and embrace the power of healthy boundaries, this book is here to guide you every step of the way.
Bonus! After your purchase, check the end of the preface for details on how to access your FREE gifts—a guided meditation and workbook designed to make setting boundaries even easier!
It doesn’t have to be this way.
In How To Set Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a D*ck), Emotional Resilience Coach, Jennifer Febel, offers a refreshingly practical and compassionate guide to creating boundaries that actually work—and feel good. This isn’t just a book about why boundaries matter. It’s a hands-on roadmap to help you:
- Speak up for yourself with confidence and clarity.
- Navigate tricky conversations without guilt or drama.
- Stop people-pleasing and start showing up for yourself.
Each chapter builds on the last, walking you step by step through the process of building healthier boundaries in every area of your life. Along the way, you’ll gain the tools and exercises you need to heal relationships, reclaim your time, and reconnect with what truly matters to you.
Here's What You’ll Learn
- How to use your emotions as powerful tools for growth.
- How to set clear, effective boundaries using the Boundaries Blueprint.
- How to neutralize triggers and turn even the toughest people into boundary allies.
- How to handle tough conversations with empathy and understanding.
- How to give feedback that strengthens relationships using the Feedback Formula.
- How to stop being ‘Nice’ and start creating a life that inspires both you and those around you.
Packed with actionable tools, relatable wisdom, and real-life examples, How To Set Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a D*ck) isn’t just a book—it’s your ultimate guide to living unapologetically, authentically, and in alignment with what matters most to you.
If you're ready to find your voice, transform your relationships, and embrace the power of healthy boundaries, this book is here to guide you every step of the way.
Bonus! After your purchase, check the end of the preface for details on how to access your FREE gifts—a guided meditation and workbook designed to make setting boundaries even easier!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"This book has really helped me clarify what’s important in my life, improve communication with my spouse to strengthen our connection, and establish healthier day-to-day boundaries to avoid feeling overwhelmed."
Press Release: November 8, 2024
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Jennifer Febel’s New ‘Book How To Set Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a D*ck)’ Offers a Fresh Take on Healthy Boundaries
BRADFORD, ON (November 8, 2024) – Jennifer Febel, a respected authority on emotional resilience and mental health, is proud to announce the release of her transformative new book, How To Set Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a D*ck). This groundbreaking guide challenges the notion that being ‘Nice’ requires self-sacrifice and instead offers a practical toolkit for reclaiming personal power—without the drama.
“I want to change the conversation around boundaries,” says Febel. “Too often, we see boundaries as barriers that push people away, but in reality, they’re meant to be the glue that strengthens relationships. In fact, show me a relationship that’s struggling, and I’ll show you one where healthy boundaries are likely missing.”
Febel’s approach goes beyond traditional advice by focusing on the importance of language in setting boundaries effectively. “If standing up for yourself is causing friction or leading to lost relationships, it’s often because the right language is missing,” Febel explains. “In this book, I explore not only the ‘who’ and ‘what’ of boundaries but teach specific linguistic tools that help readers set boundaries effectively, without damaging their relationships or feeling like a total jerk.”
How To Set Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a D*ck) is packed with straightforward wisdom, actionable tips, and interactive exercises designed to help readers bridge the gap between their head and heart and set boundaries that honour their unique story. Whether it’s at work, with family, or in personal relationships, this book provides readers with the guidance needed to be able express boundaries authentically and compassionately.
Key features include:
The Boundaries Blueprint: A simple, effective linguistic formula for setting clear boundaries in a single sentence.
The Compassionate Negotiation Model: A drama-free language model to help you navigate awkward or difficult conversations.
The Feedback Formula: A quick and easy method to help acclimate others to your boundaries without a power struggle.
The Trigger Neutralizer: A step-by-step guide to transform the most challenging people in your life into your best boundary-setting allies.
“Many believe that feeling overwhelmed or burned out are just side effects of modern society,” says Febel. “I disagree. This book is about reclaiming your power and rediscovering hope through the art of setting boundaries.”
Drawing from over two decades of experience in communication, psychology, and linguistics, along with more than a decade of private practice, Jennifer Febel combines professional insights with her own journey of healing. Her approach to boundary-setting is both practical and relatable, making this book an essential read for anyone seeking to navigate life’s complexities with grace and resilience.
Febel invites readers to take the first step toward living authentically and embracing a life defined by healthy, empowering boundaries.
About the Author:
Jennifer Febel is a board-designated Master Hypnotherapist, Emotional Resiliency Coach, Mentor, and Instructor, committed to the belief that no one is broken, and that emotional resilience is attainable for everyone. Through her private practice, as well as in her trainings and workshops, Jennifer empowers individuals to navigate their unique challenges using the same tools and principles that transformed her own life. Her mission is to inspire profound personal transformation by teaching people how to harness the power of boundaries, rewrite their stories, and communicate with authenticity and compassion–without ever feeling the need to be ‘Nice’ again.
Jennifer lives in Bradford, Ontario, with her husband, mother-in-law, and their beloved fur family.
Availability:
How To Set Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a D*ck) is available in hardcover, paperback, and ebook formats on Amazon.ca and Amazon.com. Audiobook to be available 2025.
For More Information, Review Copies, or Media Inquiries:
Please contact Jennifer Febel at [email protected] or 289.231.4417.
Visit www.btgwellness.com and www.livelifeunbroken.com for more details.
Contact:
Jennifer Febel
[email protected]
33 Booth Street
Bradford, ON
Ph: 289.231.4417
###
(754 words)
Jennifer Febel’s New ‘Book How To Set Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a D*ck)’ Offers a Fresh Take on Healthy Boundaries
BRADFORD, ON (November 8, 2024) – Jennifer Febel, a respected authority on emotional resilience and mental health, is proud to announce the release of her transformative new book, How To Set Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a D*ck). This groundbreaking guide challenges the notion that being ‘Nice’ requires self-sacrifice and instead offers a practical toolkit for reclaiming personal power—without the drama.
“I want to change the conversation around boundaries,” says Febel. “Too often, we see boundaries as barriers that push people away, but in reality, they’re meant to be the glue that strengthens relationships. In fact, show me a relationship that’s struggling, and I’ll show you one where healthy boundaries are likely missing.”
Febel’s approach goes beyond traditional advice by focusing on the importance of language in setting boundaries effectively. “If standing up for yourself is causing friction or leading to lost relationships, it’s often because the right language is missing,” Febel explains. “In this book, I explore not only the ‘who’ and ‘what’ of boundaries but teach specific linguistic tools that help readers set boundaries effectively, without damaging their relationships or feeling like a total jerk.”
How To Set Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a D*ck) is packed with straightforward wisdom, actionable tips, and interactive exercises designed to help readers bridge the gap between their head and heart and set boundaries that honour their unique story. Whether it’s at work, with family, or in personal relationships, this book provides readers with the guidance needed to be able express boundaries authentically and compassionately.
Key features include:
The Boundaries Blueprint: A simple, effective linguistic formula for setting clear boundaries in a single sentence.
The Compassionate Negotiation Model: A drama-free language model to help you navigate awkward or difficult conversations.
The Feedback Formula: A quick and easy method to help acclimate others to your boundaries without a power struggle.
The Trigger Neutralizer: A step-by-step guide to transform the most challenging people in your life into your best boundary-setting allies.
“Many believe that feeling overwhelmed or burned out are just side effects of modern society,” says Febel. “I disagree. This book is about reclaiming your power and rediscovering hope through the art of setting boundaries.”
Drawing from over two decades of experience in communication, psychology, and linguistics, along with more than a decade of private practice, Jennifer Febel combines professional insights with her own journey of healing. Her approach to boundary-setting is both practical and relatable, making this book an essential read for anyone seeking to navigate life’s complexities with grace and resilience.
Febel invites readers to take the first step toward living authentically and embracing a life defined by healthy, empowering boundaries.
About the Author:
Jennifer Febel is a board-designated Master Hypnotherapist, Emotional Resiliency Coach, Mentor, and Instructor, committed to the belief that no one is broken, and that emotional resilience is attainable for everyone. Through her private practice, as well as in her trainings and workshops, Jennifer empowers individuals to navigate their unique challenges using the same tools and principles that transformed her own life. Her mission is to inspire profound personal transformation by teaching people how to harness the power of boundaries, rewrite their stories, and communicate with authenticity and compassion–without ever feeling the need to be ‘Nice’ again.
Jennifer lives in Bradford, Ontario, with her husband, mother-in-law, and their beloved fur family.
Availability:
How To Set Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a D*ck) is available in hardcover, paperback, and ebook formats on Amazon.ca and Amazon.com. Audiobook to be available 2025.
For More Information, Review Copies, or Media Inquiries:
Please contact Jennifer Febel at [email protected] or 289.231.4417.
Visit www.btgwellness.com and www.livelifeunbroken.com for more details.
Contact:
Jennifer Febel
[email protected]
33 Booth Street
Bradford, ON
Ph: 289.231.4417
###
(754 words)
*** Take a Sneak Peek Inside ***
Preface: Welcome, Fellow Nice Person!
Welcome! And congratulations. If you are reading these words, you are (or at least think you might be) part of an elite and growing group of individuals considered ‘Nice.’ You likely have a few close friends, possibly even a supporting circle of acquaintances, family members, and co-workers, who describe you as their “go-to” person. You may even have a reputation for being the kind of person who loves to help out.
Who can always be relied on to lend a helping hand.
Who is never more than a phone call away.
And who will Never. Ever. Say. No.
For so long, I was this person. I would do anything for anyone. And the truth is, I really do enjoy helping others. It gives me so much joy to watch someone’s face light up, knowing that I was a part of it and that I made someone’s day a little brighter and more manageable. I am a natural helper, and it honestly never occurred to me that I could say no!
But here’s the problem: In all my eagerness to say ‘Yes’ to everyone else, I forgot about saying ‘Yes’ to me.
Oops.
And that’s where it all went wrong.
In the beginning, it was subtle, you know? I was a little less interested in the things I used to love, a little less vibrant. A little quieter. But I was still doing what I needed to do, and I “put on a brave face” and soldiered on.
Because that’s what we do, isn’t it?
But over time, the changes became more profound. I found myself avoiding the activities I used to enjoy, and those once-beloved hobbies began to feel like burdens. It was as if I had become a stranger in my own life, performing a role that wasn't written for me.
Eventually, the physical problems started: chronic sinus infections and colds, minor aches and pains, and just a general feeling of blah.
And the fear. Oh, the fear.
It seemed overnight I became scared, anxious, and afraid of, well, everything! Things I had handled so easily in the past began to overwhelm me, and I just wanted to crawl into a warm, dark hole and hide.
Forever.
Being ‘Nice’ looks so wonderful from the outside, it’s no wonder it’s the thing we all strive for! But it turns out we were all sold a bill of goods because living like this—always “on,” always smiling, never rocking the boat, being ‘Nice’—is slowly killing us. The good news is change is possible and I am proof that healing your life from the inside-out can happen and is way easier than you may think.
So, who am I? I am someone who has walked the path of brokenness and lived to tell the story. I am someone who has experienced a dark night of the soul and lived there for over a decade. I am someone who has been told, over and over again, that I am broken.
And yet here I am. Stronger than before.
So, from one ‘Nice’ person to another: Welcome, and thank you for being here.
Over the following chapters, I am going to introduce you back to You and to the parts of yourself that maybe haven’t been acknowledged in a very long time. And by the time we are done, you will have the knowledge, skills, and tools you need to begin a more profound process of personal healing and transformation guided by the supportive and wise presence of boundaries.
Welcome to your journey.
How to use this book:
This book is designed to walk you step-by-step through the process of creating healthier boundaries in your life and is best read in order, as each chapter builds on the last. As you progress, you might be tempted to skip over some of the chapter exercises. Pay attention, because the ones that make you the most uncomfortable are the ones you likely need the most. To get the most out of this experience, I recommend fully participating and giving yourself the gift of diving in wholeheartedly.
Here’s what we are going to cover:
How to access and use your emotions as powerful tools for feedback and growth.
How to master the art of setting clear, effective boundaries with yourself and others using the Boundaries Blueprint.
How to neutralize your triggers and turn the biggest jerks in your life into your best boundary-setting allies.
How to use compassionate negotiation to navigate tricky or difficult conversations with empathy and understanding.
How to offer effective feedback in a way that strengthens relationships using the Feedback Formula.
How to be more receptive and cultivate authentic gratitude in your life.
How to stop being ‘Nice’ and start creating a life that inspires both you and those around you.
Signs You Need Better Boundaries
Still on the fence about whether or not you actually need better boundaries in your life? Here are some signs that the boundaries you have are no longer working for you:
Final Thoughts
Letting go of being ‘Nice’ is one of the best gifts you can give yourself, and learning to show up compassionately is the starting point of an incredible healing journey.
You in? Good!
Let’s do this.
Who can always be relied on to lend a helping hand.
Who is never more than a phone call away.
And who will Never. Ever. Say. No.
For so long, I was this person. I would do anything for anyone. And the truth is, I really do enjoy helping others. It gives me so much joy to watch someone’s face light up, knowing that I was a part of it and that I made someone’s day a little brighter and more manageable. I am a natural helper, and it honestly never occurred to me that I could say no!
But here’s the problem: In all my eagerness to say ‘Yes’ to everyone else, I forgot about saying ‘Yes’ to me.
Oops.
And that’s where it all went wrong.
In the beginning, it was subtle, you know? I was a little less interested in the things I used to love, a little less vibrant. A little quieter. But I was still doing what I needed to do, and I “put on a brave face” and soldiered on.
Because that’s what we do, isn’t it?
But over time, the changes became more profound. I found myself avoiding the activities I used to enjoy, and those once-beloved hobbies began to feel like burdens. It was as if I had become a stranger in my own life, performing a role that wasn't written for me.
Eventually, the physical problems started: chronic sinus infections and colds, minor aches and pains, and just a general feeling of blah.
And the fear. Oh, the fear.
It seemed overnight I became scared, anxious, and afraid of, well, everything! Things I had handled so easily in the past began to overwhelm me, and I just wanted to crawl into a warm, dark hole and hide.
Forever.
Being ‘Nice’ looks so wonderful from the outside, it’s no wonder it’s the thing we all strive for! But it turns out we were all sold a bill of goods because living like this—always “on,” always smiling, never rocking the boat, being ‘Nice’—is slowly killing us. The good news is change is possible and I am proof that healing your life from the inside-out can happen and is way easier than you may think.
So, who am I? I am someone who has walked the path of brokenness and lived to tell the story. I am someone who has experienced a dark night of the soul and lived there for over a decade. I am someone who has been told, over and over again, that I am broken.
And yet here I am. Stronger than before.
So, from one ‘Nice’ person to another: Welcome, and thank you for being here.
Over the following chapters, I am going to introduce you back to You and to the parts of yourself that maybe haven’t been acknowledged in a very long time. And by the time we are done, you will have the knowledge, skills, and tools you need to begin a more profound process of personal healing and transformation guided by the supportive and wise presence of boundaries.
Welcome to your journey.
How to use this book:
This book is designed to walk you step-by-step through the process of creating healthier boundaries in your life and is best read in order, as each chapter builds on the last. As you progress, you might be tempted to skip over some of the chapter exercises. Pay attention, because the ones that make you the most uncomfortable are the ones you likely need the most. To get the most out of this experience, I recommend fully participating and giving yourself the gift of diving in wholeheartedly.
Here’s what we are going to cover:
How to access and use your emotions as powerful tools for feedback and growth.
How to master the art of setting clear, effective boundaries with yourself and others using the Boundaries Blueprint.
How to neutralize your triggers and turn the biggest jerks in your life into your best boundary-setting allies.
How to use compassionate negotiation to navigate tricky or difficult conversations with empathy and understanding.
How to offer effective feedback in a way that strengthens relationships using the Feedback Formula.
How to be more receptive and cultivate authentic gratitude in your life.
How to stop being ‘Nice’ and start creating a life that inspires both you and those around you.
Signs You Need Better Boundaries
Still on the fence about whether or not you actually need better boundaries in your life? Here are some signs that the boundaries you have are no longer working for you:
- You often say "Yes" to others, even when everything inside you is urging you to say "No."
- You bend over backward to keep others happy, even at the expense of your own well-being.
- When someone hurts or frustrates you, you keep quiet, bottling up your feelings and storing away unspoken thoughts.
- You prioritize everyone else’s needs over your own and often feel burned out, overwhelmed and exhausted.
- You constantly agree to others’ demands while your own energy and time are stretched thin.
- You feel like you have to walk on eggshells and hold back your true thoughts and opinions to avoid conflict.
- You often feel overlooked, unappreciated, or like you don’t quite belong in social settings.
- You hesitate to ask for help, fearing you might be a burden to others.
- You struggle to say "No," even when you are feeling overwhelmed, because you don’t want to disappoint anyone.
- You feel guilty for taking time for yourself, as if you should always be available for others.
- You believe you need to earn love and approval by constantly giving, doing, or being "perfect."
- You often put your own dreams and desires on hold to support others in achieving theirs.
- You find yourself constantly apologizing, even when it’s not your fault, just to keep the peace.
- You feel responsible for other people’s happiness, often at the cost of your own.
- You notice that you often end up doing more than your fair share, whether at work or in personal relationships, because it feels easier than saying "No."
Final Thoughts
Letting go of being ‘Nice’ is one of the best gifts you can give yourself, and learning to show up compassionately is the starting point of an incredible healing journey.
You in? Good!
Let’s do this.
Quiz: Just How Nice Are You
It’s time to find out just how ‘Nice’ you really are. Are you at a healthy level of ‘Nice’, or are you on the brink of a full-scale, nuclear ‘Nice’ meltdown of epic proportions?
Complete the quiz below to find out!
Step One: For each of the questions below, answer with either Yes or No
Step Two: Add up the total number of Yeses
0-5: You are definitely Nice, but it is probably still manageable. You likely feel a wide range of emotions and are decent at speaking up and getting your needs met. For you, this book will introduce you to tools to help prevent you from wandering down that dark road of severe Niceness. And you may just gain some new perspectives on yourself or someone else in your life.
6-10: You are teetering between being a healthy level of Nice and wandering into the world of Too Nice. This is a caution zone where you need to be alert to any indications of getting too comfortable putting yourself last. For you, this book will help keep you from falling over the edge and give you ways to identify if, and when, it is time to bring in extra reinforcements.
11-15: You are really Nice and likely pride yourself on being this way. You likely feel it is your duty to sacrifice for the people you love and possibly struggle with knowing where to begin when setting healthy boundaries without feeling overwhelming guilt. For you, this book will serve as an essential step on your journey to healing your relationship with YOU and will open up new perspectives on how to offer kindness without sacrificing your needs.
16-21: Warning! Warning! We have a toxically Nice person! Chances are you are either walking around secretly, seething mad all the time, or you have so skillfully removed anger from your world that you may barely feel anger at all. If you can’t remember the last time you got good and pissed off—welcome. I am so glad you are here because this book is your wake-up call and your path back to a life filled with all the richness and joys of connection.
It’s time to find out just how ‘Nice’ you really are. Are you at a healthy level of ‘Nice’, or are you on the brink of a full-scale, nuclear ‘Nice’ meltdown of epic proportions?
Complete the quiz below to find out!
Step One: For each of the questions below, answer with either Yes or No
- Do you consider yourself 'Nice'?
- Are you great at putting everyone else’s needs first but forget about yourself in the mix?
- Have you ever wondered, “If I’m taking care of everyone else—who is taking care of me?”
- Are you always willing to lend a helping hand to others while your projects are left untouched?
- Do people describe you as a “go-to” person or the one with all the answers?
- Do you feel like you are being taken advantage of or are too understanding for your own good?
- Do you like feeling needed?
- Do you find yourself constantly apologizing and justifying yourself?
- Do you find yourself agreeing with or saying yes when you don’t want to and then feeling resentful afterward?
- Are you great at avoiding confrontation—at all costs?
- Do you consider yourself ‘easygoing’ and often think it’s not worth speaking up and ‘rocking the boat’?
- Do you struggle with feelings of depression, anxiety, or overwhelm regularly?
- Do you often volunteer to help with tasks or responsibilities, even when overwhelmed?
- Do you have difficulty saying 'no' to requests, even when you lack time or energy?
- Do you prioritize others' happiness and comfort over your own?
- Do you feel guilty when taking time for yourself or prioritizing your needs?
- Do you frequently ignore or suppress your emotions to avoid conflict or discomfort?
- Do you often feel drained or exhausted after social interactions or helping others?
- Do you struggle to stand up for yourself and communicate your needs?
- Do you feel responsible for solving other people's problems or fixing their issues?
- Do you have difficulty asking for help or support when you need it?
Step Two: Add up the total number of Yeses
0-5: You are definitely Nice, but it is probably still manageable. You likely feel a wide range of emotions and are decent at speaking up and getting your needs met. For you, this book will introduce you to tools to help prevent you from wandering down that dark road of severe Niceness. And you may just gain some new perspectives on yourself or someone else in your life.
6-10: You are teetering between being a healthy level of Nice and wandering into the world of Too Nice. This is a caution zone where you need to be alert to any indications of getting too comfortable putting yourself last. For you, this book will help keep you from falling over the edge and give you ways to identify if, and when, it is time to bring in extra reinforcements.
11-15: You are really Nice and likely pride yourself on being this way. You likely feel it is your duty to sacrifice for the people you love and possibly struggle with knowing where to begin when setting healthy boundaries without feeling overwhelming guilt. For you, this book will serve as an essential step on your journey to healing your relationship with YOU and will open up new perspectives on how to offer kindness without sacrificing your needs.
16-21: Warning! Warning! We have a toxically Nice person! Chances are you are either walking around secretly, seething mad all the time, or you have so skillfully removed anger from your world that you may barely feel anger at all. If you can’t remember the last time you got good and pissed off—welcome. I am so glad you are here because this book is your wake-up call and your path back to a life filled with all the richness and joys of connection.
Company Logos
Notable Book Quotes:
"The reality is, people are allowed to be obnoxious, ignorant, know-it-all jackasses, and nothing you say or do will ever truly change that. Setting boundaries with the expectation that the other person will change is a recipe for disaster and will always lead to conditional relationships and passive-aggressive communication cycles that erode trust and connection."
"At their core, boundaries are about understanding your own wants, needs, and desires, and then expressing them in a way that empowers both you and the other person. They are about building a bridge that connects you to others, honoring both Who You Are and Who They Are as well."
"If you notice that the more you speak your truth, the more your relationships seem to suffer or drift away, it might mean you've unintentionally created conditions instead of boundaries.
"The reality is, you were never meant to just "get over it" or push down your emotions indefinitely. Your emotional experiences are a vital part of Who You Are, and denying them isn’t an option."
"Think of your boundaries as a two-way street. While, yes, they keep out negativity and protect you from getting hurt, they also create a space for good things to come into your life—like compliments, affection, love, and support."
"Anger is your own internal alarm that lets you know when your needs are not being met or when someone is crossing your boundaries. It lets you know it’s time to say something and stand up for yourself.
"Believe it or not, there’s an art and a science to speaking your truth and simply dumping your thoughts onto others isn’t authenticity; it’s chaos, and it will drive people away. Boundaries are what give your truth a framework, so it can be communicated in a way that is respectful and compassionate without having to resort to being ‘Nice’.
"We tend to think that love can only come from our relationships with others, but there’s so much more to it than that. In fact, if you’re only relying on friends and family to feel loved, you’re missing out on a big piece of the puzzle."
"Hearing someone speak up without malice or defensiveness is beautiful; seeing someone honor their needs without engaging in power struggles is inspiring.
"Your purpose, therefore, is simple: to shine your light so bright that it ignites the light in others."
Spelling and Pronunciation
Jennifer Febel (pronounced "Fable")
BTG Wellness
Live Life Unbroken Coaching
BTG Wellness
Live Life Unbroken Coaching
More Links
Check out my podcast
|
Visit my Linktree
|