Quiz: Just How Nice Are You

​This is an excerpt from my book, How To Set Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a D*ck)—a guide for anyone ready to speak up, honour their needs, and feel more grounded in their relationships.

​It’s time to find out just how ‘Nice’ you really are. Are you at a healthy level of ‘Nice’, or are you on the brink of a full-scale, nuclear ‘Nice’ meltdown of epic proportions?Complete the quiz below to find out!
 
Step One:
For each of the questions below, answer with either Yes or No:

1. Do you consider yourself 'Nice'?
2. Are you great at putting everyone else’s needs first but forget about yourself in the mix?
3. Have you ever wondered, “If I’m taking care of everyone else—who is taking care of me?”
4. Are you always willing to lend a helping hand to others while your projects are left untouched?
5. Do people describe you as a “go-to” person or the one with all the answers?
6. Do you feel like you are being taken advantage of or are too understanding for your own good?
7. Do you like feeling needed?
8. Do you find yourself constantly apologizing and justifying yourself?
9. Do you find yourself agreeing with or saying yes when you don’t want to and then feeling resentful afterward?
10. Are you great at avoiding confrontation—at all costs?
11. Do you consider yourself ‘easygoing’ and often think it’s not worth speaking up and ‘rocking the boat’?
12. Do you struggle with feelings of depression, anxiety, or overwhelm regularly?
13. Do you often volunteer to help with tasks or responsibilities, even when overwhelmed?
14. Do you have difficulty saying 'no' to requests, even when you lack time or energy?
15. Do you prioritize others' happiness and comfort over your own?
16. Do you feel guilty when taking time for yourself or prioritizing your needs?
17. Do you frequently ignore or suppress your emotions to avoid conflict or discomfort?
18. Do you often feel drained or exhausted after social interactions or helping others?
19. Do you struggle to stand up for yourself and communicate your needs?
20. Do you feel responsible for solving other people's problems or fixing their issues?
21. Do you have difficulty asking for help or support when you need it?

 
Step Two:
Add up the total number of Yeses.

0-5: You are definitely Nice, but it is probably still manageable. You likely feel a wide range of emotions and are decent at speaking up and getting your needs met. For you, this book will introduce you to tools to help prevent you from wandering down that dark road of severe Niceness. And you may just gain some new perspectives on yourself or someone else in your life.

6-10: You are teetering between being a healthy level of Nice and wandering into the world of Too Nice. This is a caution zone where you need to be alert to any indications of getting too comfortable putting yourself last. For you, this book will help keep you from falling over the edge and give you ways to identify if, and when, it is time to bring in extra reinforcements.

11-15: You are really Nice and likely pride yourself on being this way. You likely feel it is your duty to sacrifice for the people you love and possibly struggle with knowing where to begin when setting healthy boundaries without feeling overwhelming guilt. For you, this book will serve as an essential step on your journey to healing your relationship with YOU and will open up new perspectives on how to offer kindness without sacrificing your needs.
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16-21: Warning! Warning! We have a toxically Nice person!  Chances are you are either walking around secretly, seething mad all the time, or you have so skillfully removed anger from your world that you may barely feel anger at all.  If you can’t remember the last time you got good and pissed off—welcome.  I am so glad you are here because this book is your wake-up call and your path back to a life filled with all the richness and joys of connection.