Getting Clear On Your Boundaries

​Understanding your boundaries means being able to recognize where you end and where other people begin; it means identifying what you can control versus what you can’t. This activity is designed to help you discover the edge of Who You Are, so you can clearly define your personal limits. By identifying this border, you can become more aware of your Core Needs, which will serve as the foundation for your new, healthy boundaries.
For this exercise, all you need is a pen, your journal or a notebook, and a few moments to yourself.
 
Step One: Identify Your Boundaries
Answer the following questions with at least 10 examples for each. I've included a few to get you started—feel free to use them as they are or as inspiration to come up with your own.

Q1. Fill in the blank:  People may not ________
Examples: Go through my personal belongings, criticize me, make comments about my weight, take their anger out on me, humiliate me in front of others, tell off-color jokes in my company, invade my personal space.

Q2. Fill in the blank: I have a right to ask for ____
Example: Privacy, a new hairstyle from an old stylist, peace and quiet while getting a massage, help around the house, more information before making a purchase, quiet time to myself.

Q3. Fill in the blank: To protect my time and energy, it’s okay to ______
Examples: Turn the ringer off my phone, take my time returning calls or emails, change my mind, bow out of a volunteer activity, cancel a commitment when I’m not feeling well, reserve a place in my home that is off-limits to others.
 
Step Two: Identify Who You Are
Complete the following sentences to help you get super clear on exactly Who You Are. Aim for 3-5 examples for each.

Q1. Fill in the blank:  I am ___________
Examples: Kind, Smart, Fun, Loveable, Funny

Q2. Fill in the blank: I am not _________
Examples: Stupid, Silly, Irrelevant, Dumb

Q3. Fill in the blank: I want ___________
Examples: Love, Money, Health, Pets in my life, Joy, Security

Q4. Fill in the blank: I do not want _______
Examples: Harsh words, Betrayal, Fear, Illness

Q5. Fill in the blank: I will ____________
Examples: Take care of myself, Eat healthy, Take my supplements

Q6. Fill in the blank: I will not __________
Examples: Expect others to take care of me, Ignore my needs, Stay silent to please others
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​This is an excerpt from my book, How To Set Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a D*ck)—a guide for anyone ready to speak up, honour their needs, and feel more grounded in their relationships.

​📚 If you enjoyed this excerpt from my book and want to go deeper, How To Set Boundaries (Without Feeling Like a D*ck) is now available on Amazon, Indigo, Barnes & Noble, and as an audiobook on all your favourite platforms 🎧